There is a song I found this past week that I listen to late at night when I am driving around by myself. It is called ‘Better’ by Jordy Searcy, the song explains how he loves someone else before he loves himself. How he gets caught up in his affections for a woman and does not recognize all the hardships she creates for him.
In the song he states ‘I love you ‘cause I don’t love me’. When I heard this song for the first time, I had to pause it; this one line took me by utter surprise.
I had always heard that you cannot love someone else until you can love yourself. Which I believe is true, might also have faults in the logic. I think people can love someone or something so much more than themselves that they end up pouring out all they have which causes them to not love themselves as much.
So why do people do this so much? Why do they over-pour for other people but under-pour for themselves? Why are we constantly seeking approval or appreciation from a group of people or a certain individual?
In my last opinion piece, I opened up about my struggles of me wasting time on the problems I should face later down the road, not now. If you read that article, thank you and thank you for reading this one.
So this article’s main focus; what would you do for appreciation?
Another problem, another obstacle, another struggle I have been facing as of late. I have been looking for appreciation from people that I do not need it from. I have been working so hard, pushing the train farther and farther down the tracks so that certain group of people would finally say ‘good job’ or ‘thank you, Chase’.
Maybe you are the same way, maybe you are seeking approval in all the wrong areas. Maybe you just want that guy or girl to finally notice the way you do something. Maybe you have been wanting to get your father to notice that you are doing well in school or so many more options.
My train has never stopped moving, constantly trying to one up myself each and every time I accomplish a task. Trying to prove to someone that I am worth something, that I should be the one that people should notice.
I talked to one of my best friends on Monday night, trying to sort out issues between ourselves and also with my heart. I confided in her that I had been so distraught because of my trying to make sure every little thing went right and when it would not, I would stress out over it trying to please everyone.
As one of the most caring individuals I know, she turned and she said ‘You will never be able to please everyone, or make sure that every small thing will go right or even get the appreciation that you deserve. Quit trying, because if you keep going you will just end up more mad than you ever were happy with the situation.’
A shot through my ego, I genuinely thought I could; I always thought I could control the problems around me and I could be the savior.
Truth is: I cannot. The other truth is: You cannot either.
So let me ask you, what do you do for appreciation?
Near the end of the song ‘Better’, Searcy has a line that says ‘I just want someone to love me, come on someone just love me’
Another line that speaks volumes over a lot of people. While seeking approval or appreciation, some of us would do anything for it. Would do anything to make sure a certain person or group would approve of who they are as a human being.
Maybe you are one of the people that stay up until three in the morning waiting on that text that says come over. Maybe you are another person that constantly picks up a 20-hour class load each semester to try and prove to your parents that you are smart.
I am in the same boat, struggling with such problems and trying to prove my worth. Trying to make someone notice me.
Do you do most of these actions that I have listed? Do you try and receive your worth by throwing yourself away?
I do. I have. I have tried it all, trying to make sure I am worth something to someone. However, every single time that happens, I always feel empty. I always want more and cannot be satisfied.
Why can so many of us not break this hold of approval? Why do always feel trapped that someone besides ourselves have to prove our worth?
Just like the first article: I do not have the answers to these questions either. These are tough questions, that most do not want to ask; that most want to shove under the rug.
So the question this time remains to be, what do you do for appreciation?